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A Woman to Remember: E. Rhoda Engebretson
By Sally Engebretson
CHICAGO, IL (September 29, 2005) - (Editor's note: the following article
appears in the book "Women to Remember," a collection of stories of
remarkable women of faith and courage published by the Women's History
Commission of the Evangelical Covenant Church and presented during
Triennial XI in Portland, Oregon. It is used with permission of Women
Ministries, copyright 2004.)
"MB N ME"
Their vanity license plates were a metaphor for their marriage: the "MB"
for Milton Benjamin Engebretson, and the "ME" for Rhoda. When I met
their son, Donn, in 1984, I knew of Milt through his enthusiastic
preaching and charismatic energy, but I knew nothing of his wife or his
children. Did they have children? How many? Who were they? Of Rhoda, I
thought, who is this incredibly gracious public, yet very private
person? Such is the hidden life behind the "ME."
Yet there is so much more to the story, as I can hear Milt say with that
signature smile.
Rhoda Hollenbeck was born in the small town of Tioga, North Dakota, a
few hundred miles from Milt's birthplace of Grand Forks, North Dakota.
They would not meet until years later in Seattle, Washington. In a twist
of fate, Rhoda was named after the child of her mother's friend, Rhoda
Engebretson.
She was the third child of seven children - five daughters and two sons
- of Esther and Frank Hollenbeck. Her parents were a very handsome
couple as seen in the picture that still hangs over her desk. After
struggling as farmers in the Dakotas, they moved to Minneapolis soon
after Rhoda's birth, where her father worked as an engineer on a city
streetcar. She remembers her mother telling stories about playing in the
Swedish string band at the Covenant church as a teenager, her mother's
tendency to be a little severe, and her mother working later into the
night sewing clothes for all of her children, keeping them impeccably
dressed, a defining characteristic that follows Rhoda to this day. She
also remembers attending First Covenant Church in Minneapolis where she
loved the sermons of Dr. Paul Rees.
After high school, Rhoda moved with a friend to Seattle in search of
work, finally choosing a summer job at Boeing. Out of respect for the
people with whom she was living, Rhoda attended their Lutheran Brethren
church. She remembers with a deep smile the day Milt, a student at
Seattle Pacific University, walked up to her after attending one of the
first of these services - from that point on they were a couple. After
they became engaged, Milt left for three long years serving in the
United States Army Air Force, repairing air craft in Africa and Italy
during World War II. Rhoda, who also attended Seattle Pacific and
business school, moved back to Minnesota.
Upon Milt's return, the couple was married in Minneapolis. Their first
trip was a 4,000-mile drive through the western United States to Arizona
to visit Milt's brother, Phil, who was a teacher. They drove on to San
Diego, California, to visit Milt's brother, David, who was married just
months before to Rhoda's sister, Doris. Then they headed up the coast to
Washington.
This was only the beginning of thousands of miles Rhoda and Milt would
drive together through their 51 years of marriage. Reading books to each
other as they traveled, they relished these very private hours. Reading
has long been a hallmark of Rhoda's life. She passes books on with
enthusiastic endorsements to people whom she meets. Her face and quiet
demeanor become animated when you mention her favorite books like
Turn Over Any Stone: A Personal Journey Through the Mystery of
Suffering and Faith by Edna H. Hong.
While Milt was studying to be a teacher at the University of Washington,
Rhoda brought him into the Covenant. After graduation, he was called to
ministry and looked for a seminary where he could pursue that call. As
the son of a Norwegian Lutheran itinerant pastor and farmer, he applied
to his Lutheran Brethren seminary. When they didn't give him the
financial help he needed, Rhoda offered a suggestion from her Covenant
roots - North Park Theological Seminary, which not only accepted him,
but gave him the monies he needed for seminary.
So began the long journey of Covenant servanthood. The couple moved to
Chicago where Milt formed a sheetrock company to support his studies in
seminary. It became so successful that he employed many seminarians
during the years and partnered with Rhoda's brother, Norman, who took
over the company and lived successfully in the Chicago suburb of Barrington.
During those seminary years, Rhoda gave birth to two sons: Jon, who is
now a trust officer for Harris Bank in Scottsdale, Arizona, and Donn,
who is executive vice president of the Evangelical Covenant Church.
After Milt was ordained, he and Rhoda served together at churches in
Stotler, Kansas, and Mankato and Elim, Minnesota, and then returned to
Chicago where Milt was first executive secretary and then president of
the Covenant.
During those years, Rhoda's gift for entertaining established her as a
reputable host. She set a standard that few others could meet. Milt
would say that she brought class to a small town farm boy who was on his
own at 14 years old because of family poverty. She had a talent for
dressing them both in a stylish and tasteful way. She is known to this
day for her crisp blouse with neatly folded back cuffs. I know Rhoda for
restyling most of the clothes she buys, making them fit like they were
tailor made just for her.
She provided Milt with a similar sense of fit and security at home
through his many years of travel. When he came home to Rhoda, it was to
the wife he dearly loved and a home she had decorated with style and
comfort. She loved decorating their homes and creating meals that were
perfect. She combed Gourmet magazines for recipes and fashioned tables
that were a joy to behold as well as the perfect setting to experience
delightful food.
After all the receptions, dinners, and open houses in Chicago, their
refuge was their home on Hagerman Lake in Upper Michigan. At the lake,
they gathered as a family with Rhoda glorying in her grandchildren
Karna, Brita, Kristen, and Karl. She picked wild raspberries with Karna
and Brita, bringing them home to make incredible jams. She biked and
played badminton with Kristen and Karl. She ran and golfed with her sons
and husband.
Her times at Hagerman, however, could mirror her hours of loneliness as
well as her times of joy. Her journal records a time during Milt's
presidency when she drove alone the seven hours from Chicago to the lake
home. She scrubbed and stained the wood paneling, waiting for Milt to
fly himself home after one of his long trips. Word came that he wouldn't
be meeting her; business kept him tied up. She woke at 4 a.m. and drove
back to Chicago. She also tells of time spent home alone, rosemauling in
the basement of their home on Lightfoot in Edgebrook. She has gorgeous,
meticulous art work from those many hours alone. The walls are decorated
with Rhoda's needlepoint and petit point.
But Hagerman could also be her joy when she had Milt all to herself.
Another entry in her journal expresses their love of times together.
"Played golf every day. Spent one evening with Bob and Marilyn Hjelm and
Harriet and Eldon Johnson. Good fellowship. Walked home under the stars
with Milt - chilly, but beautiful! We truly love it up here and thank
God for this place." They would wake early and serve each other coffee
in bed at 5 a.m. while having devotions, talking as long as time
permitted. She always set the breakfast table the night before with the
crisply ironed white linen napkins, the silver, and the pottery.
Blueberries were always served with real cream, and real butter was
available for the breakfast rolls. Whether on vacation or working,
everything stopped for mid-morning and mid-afternoon coffee. Her
perfection in hosting followed her to all her homes and then to her
current apartment in Northbrook Village.
Milt's calling took them far beyond Lake Hagerman and their Chicago
home. She had the privilege of traveling to many countries where she met
some very wonderful and important church leaders and politicians. Yet,
she confesses, "I am quite shy by nature, so some of it was difficult
for me." Through that challenge of being a very private person in a
public life, Rhoda held a deep faith, saying, "I am amazed as I look
back on my life and see how the Lord has led me step by step." Over and
over in her journal, there is a deep sense that God is in control and an
overwhelming thanksgiving for God's presence and hand in her life.
The very private "me" was called to be a partner to one of the most
public and loved administrators of the Covenant. With her deep faith in
God, Rhoda provided the rock-like foundation in Milt's home and was the
ever-gracious host in their public life. Milt thanked and praised Rhoda
publicly from the depth of his heart every year at the end of his report
to the assembly at the Covenant's Annual Meeting. He would say, "And
last, but, of course, closest to me, to my life's dearest and best
friend, my wife, Rhoda, whose support and inspiration does more than I
could say to keep to the music in my soul alive and vibrant."
Copyright © 2008 The Evangelical Covenant Church. |
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