Covenant News

Suggestions for Helping Children Cope with Fear of Terrorism

CHICAGO, IL (September 15, 2001) - Following is the text of a special email message to children's workers in local Evangelical Covenant churches from Steve Burger, director of children and family ministries of the Department of Christian Formation. The message was sent Thursday in response to Tuesday's terrorist activities.

Covenant Churches all across America have been joined in prayer over the past two days. We have spent a considerable amount of time doing the same thing here in Chicago. I will not go into detail on the Covenant story and events surrounding the attack since they are available at www.covchurch.org.

We have been praying for the victims, their families, the rescue workers, our leaders, the perpetrators and for healing. It is easy to be overwhelmed with anger, and bitterness, anxiety and fear or numbness and disbelief. Yet, even in the midst of our own turmoil we are called to boldly offer healing, hope, care and love to those in need and to pray for the salvation of our enemies.

The children we minister to will also need assurance that although bad things happen, God is here for us and loves us. Here are some suggestions for ministering to children. First, no matter what a child's age, ask them how they are feeling. To do otherwise often results in our projecting our own thoughts and feelings on them:

• Ages 2-4: This age needs reassurance. They will not be concerned with the conflicting issue of our belief in a loving God and why bad things happen to innocent people because they do not make logical connections between their experiences.
• Ages 4-7: This age also needs reassurance. They may ask why questions, but it is because they are looking for reassurance. They will accept our assurance if we tell them that God is with us and that God loves us. Children in this age group may also try to cope with the concept of death. Once again we can provide assurance by explaining that although people die, Christ has promised eternal life for those who accept it through Christ. This age may also need assurance after seeing pictures of planes crashing into buildings - that this is not a common occurrence and planes are safe to fly in.
• Ages 7-11: Besides assurance, this age may also struggle with the logic of what has occurred. They have a strong sense of right and wrong and may wish to talk about why someone would choose to make such a wrong and hurtful choice. This age can also make connections with what happened in the past and project what may happen in the future. They may need reassurance that they are indeed safe and that just because this event occurred today does not mean it will occur again. To suggest this might occur again may be true, but will just worry children of this age who will assume it will occur if you tell them the possibility exists.

All children will be watching the behavior of their parents and other adults for reassurance. The actions of parents and adults will also send a message to children about love and tolerance for others. If children are sad, upset or angry, it is often in reaction to their parents. Their sadness or anger may have nothing to do with the crisis.

It is pointless to ask a child why she/he feels, a certain way since children are concrete thinkers. Instead, we can begin by asking how they feel and then reassuring them through our actions and our words. Our loving actions toward others and a simple hug and a prayer can go along way in assuring our children that they are loved even in midst of crisis.

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