Covenant News

Accident Changes Pastor's View of Ministry

REDWOOD CITY, CA (May 21, 2000) - One moment he's driving down a coastal highway en route to church. His next thoughts come as he awakens in a hospital emergency room, unable to remember the crash that robbed him of his ability to speak.

Jon Peterson, a pastor at Peninsula Covenant Church, had always known that caring for his congregation ranks among his most important tasks. The early morning crash on that coastal highway a few months ago reminded him of the importance of care-giving from a very different perspective, changing some of his views on ministry and giving him new insight as he considers the care his congregation gave him during the past winter.

Peterson's December 12 car accident totaled his vehicle and rendered him speechless. He was unable to talk for nearly a month - it's taken nearly three months of therapy for him to recover his ability to speak. Peterson still doesn't recall all of the details of his accident.

"I know I'm driving to church (on a coastal highway) around 5:30 a.m., thinking and praying," said Peterson as he tried to remember the day of the crash. "The next thing I'm aware of, I'm in Stanford Hospital. I don't know what's happened and I can't talk. I can hear myself talking, but I'm not. I hadn't been breathing too well when they found me," he continued. "Sometime around 5:45 a.m. I had driven the car into a tree going about 55 mph, ricocheted off a tree, and ended up flipping my convertible. A GEO Metro is not designed to run on its roof, so I skidded about 50 feet down the road."

Peterson was told he had suffered a head injury, that "the brain was being knocked around the brain case inside his head," he explained. "I'm thinking perfectly, but I'm feeling trapped in there," said Peterson as he described his inability to communicate. A few days after the accident Peterson left the hospital, still unable to speak, but with memory and motor skills intact and only a small bruise on his forehead.

Peterson attended church services during the recovery period, although it proved difficult. "I couldn't talk, I was embarrassed," he said. "I didn't want to play charades. I knew I needed to be seen around church, to let people know I hadn't died, but it was hard." People understandably wanted to know how the accident happened and how Peterson was feeling. Although he appreciated the concern, he was unable to respond. Part of the lack of response was physical - he couldn't talk, although he could type a little. Part of the lack of response, however, was the result of Peterson's own questions about how he was feeling.

He had served three years, but says he was still trying to feel comfortable with his role. Although the church looked good from the outside - more than 600 in average worship attendance and a thriving set of programs - Peterson was not satisfied with how things were progressing. He says the accident was a wake-up call for him to be more grateful for his family and congregation.

"For me, my immediate response was that I needed to be reminded how much I love my wife," said Peterson. "When you realize how close you come to losing somebody, you realize how important they are. The next thing I thought was that maybe God wants me to know how much I love this church."

Christmas came and while daughters Nikki and Natasha were home for visits, Peterson was unable to lead his congregation in Advent services, a major adjustment. As he started becoming frustrated with his work situation, he also began feeling less control at home. Peterson jokingly remembered one incident with wife Cheri that helped him realize he wasn't the only one who was frustrated. "Cheri started talking to me and I was madly typing away (in response) and she looked at my response and said 'no' and just walked away," Peterson joked.

By early January, things started looking up for Peterson, who could now say a few words. Nonetheless, Peterson still couldn't string words together and he was feeling unsure about his future in ministry because none of the doctors were promising full recovery from his speech problems.

A pastor without the ability to finish a sentence isn't the most marketable commodity. In mid-January, Peterson wondered if he would ever be able to preach again. During a prayer meeting, Peterson's emotions finally caught up with him and his tears flowed while people in his congregation surrounded him in prayer.

"I felt God was telling us that this church needed to be a place for people to be safe," said Peterson. "And I personified this because I was broken, I don't work. I'm a guy that's spent a lifetime convinced that right thoughts produce right actions, but now a lot of things I'm feeling don't make sense," he continued.

"At that point, it finally dawned on me that it wasn't about how I loved the church - it was about how the church loved me," Peterson said. "Their compassion and love wasn't because I was their teacher and leader, because at that point I wasn't. And I was realizing that this wasn't about how much I loved God," he continued. "It was about how much God loved me. Not about how much I loved Cheri, but how much Cheri loved me."

Peterson was back in the pulpit March 5, preaching from Romans 5:8 in a sermon titled Out of the Silence. Two days later, Peterson communicated to his congregation in a statement posted on the church website, stating, "Sunday was a great day. Thanks to all of you standing beside me in prayer. God has used this time of healing to strengthen me as a pastor and us as a church. In many ways, I feel like my healing is a picture of what God is doing in our church. The strongest image I have is: PCC as a healing place - a place where it is safe to heal, grow, and discover."

Peterson has faced the experience head-on, even purchasing the same type of car that he crashed in December. He began running two weeks after the accident and weightlifting shortly thereafter - two of his regular activities before being injured. He has experienced subtle changes in his perceptions on life in general, as well as new insights about his call to ministry.

"I came out of this with a huge sense of call (to ministry)," said Peterson. "Call has to do with the fact that I'm alive. There's a huge confidence in that. (After the accident) I knew that God wanted me alive. And now I know that I have only one person to please, God."

Peterson's sermon topic on the day of the accident was What do you give the guy who's got everything? The irony is not lost on Peterson, who realizes that he's already got everything he needs and more. "I would not recommend this (accident) as a vehicle for spiritual growth, but my intimacy with God, my wife and the church is different because of what happened," he said.

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