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Littleton: Dealing With Anger, Grief
LITTLETON, CO (April, 1999) - The scene surrounding Columbine High School was described as sheer pandemonium by one Covenant youth pastor, as he described the hours following the tragic shooting that claimed 15 lives and injured more than a dozen others Tuesday.
Ryan Ashley, youth pastor at Centennial Covenant Church, arrived at the scene at 12:15 p.m. shortly after news broke of the shooting. He remained six hours, counseling parents and students trying to cope with the tragedy.
Three days later, counseling efforts have shifted somewhat in focus, now attempting to sort through feelings of bitterness, anger, and bewilderment. Although Centennial had only a handful of students attending Columbine, the impact of the tragedy has been felt deep within the congregation.
"We have a student leader who goes there – she had a close friend who was killed," Ashley said. "Another student got out. Other students (not church members) have visited our church, but are not believers," the youth pastor observed, noting the importance of reaching out and expressing a strong sense of Christian love.
"Hard love" might be a better term, as Ashley turned to the challenge of dealing with feelings about the two young men believed to have done the shooting. "Some are having problems dealing with feelings of bitterness and anger towards the parents and families of the accused," Ashley said, adding, "the church is going to need teaching in this area." The youth pastor emphasized that "now is not the time to get angry with the kid wearing the trench coat. Now is the time for Christian love. We need to work through that."
Ashley also addressed another area of concern that has not yet received a great deal of public attention. "There are a couple of students who knew the accused. How do you deal with a kid who knew them? How do you deal with the feelings? There is a whole different way of looking at the situation."
The vivid scenes of Tuesday remain sharply etched in his mind. He recalled his arrival at the elementary school not too far from the high school, where parents and students had gathered. "There were cars everywhere – parents were almost crashing their cars into fences and jumping curbs in the mad scramble to get to the scene," he said. He described the typical, small elementary school building with narrow hallways. "Picture parents jamming the halls, running in all directions in search of their kids. One guy (inside the elementary building) had a heart attack – paramedics were treating him."
Outside the building, media trucks were pulling in and equipment was being set up. Microphones and cameras were shoved into people's faces. "When the governor showed up, it got even crazier," he said.
At one point Tuesday afternoon, Ashley decided he needed a break. He left the building and began walking back to his car. "I was crying," he confessed. Realizing the people needed all the help they could get, he turned around and walked back into the building. "We went with the police chaplain – he helped direct us where to go – and we talked with the people. As the day went on, the need for counseling got more intense," he explained. "At first, kids said they were scared and were trying to run away. Later in the day, they were sharing the gruesome details of dead classmates and how they tried to cope and stay alive."
Youth pastors have agreed to gather to work out a strategy for dealing with the situation on an ongoing basis – "linking arms with other churches" as Ashley describes it. "There is a role for the church as a whole to play," the youth pastor observed. "I don't know what role we can play in that just yet, but we're talking about it."
He paused. "There are so many things to think about."
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